Friday, June 19, 2009

From the Inbox:
From: Mr. Lo Chin Jack
Legal Representative/Owner,
Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co.,Ltd,
Address: Haitian Industrial Park ,
Jiangnan Development Zone,
Quanzhou , Fujian , China .

Dear

Request for Legal Assistance

This is an official request for legal representation on behalf of Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co.Ltd. We are a textile company with principal business in garment manufacturing and trading.

We are presently incapacitated due to international legal boundaries to exert pressure on our delinquent customers and we request for your services accordingly. We got your contact information from the Online Lawyers Directory as a result of our search for a reliable firm or individual to provide legal services as requested.

After a careful review of your profile as well as your qualification and experience, we are of the opinion that you are capable and qualified to provide the legal services as requested.

On behalf of Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co.Ltd, Please accept my sincerest appreciation in advance for your willingness to render your services as we look forward to your prompt response to our request.

Thank you.

Mr. Lo Chin Jack
Legal Representative/Owner,
Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co.Ltd.

My response:

Dear Mr. Jack (or is it Mr. Lo?),

You were wise to carefully review my qualifications and experience. You can never be too careful these days! Crazy Internet!

I am honored and pleased to accept your offer to represent Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co. Ltd. in all legal matters. In fact, I have already filed the paperwork necessary to transfer control of the company to me. Accordingly, I regret to inform you, Mr. Jack/Lo, that you are no longer the Legal Representative/Owner of Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co. Ltd.

I shall immediately begin to exert pressure on your – sorry, my – delinquent customers. I am sure this will result in Quanzhou Haitian Textile Co. Ltd. being swiftly capacitated.

Thank you for your loyal service to the company. You must vacate the premises immediately. You may, however, keep your e-mail account.

Yours, etc.

Mr. Algeo